When A Fetus Grows In A Mystic Spiral Symphony

“If we don’t sustain this tuning, if we don’t make the right sounds, the world will fall apart.”

Using sound as a form of healing has been around for thousands of years. In my own battle with depression I have gone to medication again and again with disastrous results. Due to geography, I am not able to access the healers I require. Jill Purce is one of those healers. I find people like Jill through synchronicity and ran upon this video of her about a year ago.

You know when you watch someone and what they say makes you have goosebumps because they resonate that which your soul needs. During the video on about chanting, I thought I noticed she was possibly pregnant and the whole time I found it hard to be present (something) she talks about, because I kept wondering, what would be the effects of chanting while developing in the womb. It must be, well, heaven. Her children must be so lucky to have her as a Mother. Plus she named them Merlin and Cosmo. How cool is that?

So watch the video and I will continue with my thoughts. 🙂

When it comes to my depression, as she speaks about the elderly patients with dementia, I knew that feeling because I have seen it in psych wards where we are all drugged up and no one feels anything. I think back on my last hospitalization knowing I should not have been in there, knowing I was so drugged that I could not cry to think about how lovely it would have been to have seen a Jill Purce come into the ward for therapy. Alternative therapy is what we need for healing. All kinds of healing. Not just mental health. Mental health seems to be especially perfect for chanting in my humble opinion because it does put us in the now.

Many people like myself living with PTSD, which I don’t like to label myself that, but I do so others can identify, many of us can be triggered by a word. Like she said in the video, “mountain” can represent a bad memory of yesterday when we missed an appointment with someone on a hill. For me sadly, a band I loved, that got me through a bad mental health time is associated with that now. I hope someday that heals, ironically that does not mean I give up on music. More on that below.

Back to development in the womb. I think the state of mind our Mothers were in during our beginnings is crucial to who we are now. I don’t know if it’s fixed forever, but certainly it makes up our beginnings. I think I read in India, pregnant women are kept away from frightening things because they don’t want the Mother upset as to upset the fetus. That sounds wonderful to me. During the video I felt as though Jill may have been pregnant. I know both of her sons are musical, but one in particular is doing almost the same work as his Mother.

She speaks about sound at the cellular level. I wish I knew what a fetus’ cells looked like from a Mother who lived in war zones as opposed to Mother’s living in Kauai on the beach surfing everyday. Maybe science could show this to politicians and that would stop war?

I know the work on water and Dr. Emasaru Emoto’s work on The Hidden Message in Water and how thought’s can affect water is along the same lines in science. Sound and thoughts affect us, those around us, our subtle bodies and the world. We are all connected.

On another subject, (you never know which way I will be flowing)

The spiral.

I have been drawing Archimedean spirals since I was a child. Of course I didn’t know what it was until I found about the spiral being an ancient symbol. I just thought it was an ancient

Petroglyph

on cave walls and I liked southwest design. I made a video on the spiral. It’s pretty simple but you can watch or not watch whatever.. I made it before I got Jill’s book.

My headboard has an archimedean spiral on it, but I thought I should be more evolved and I needed more room to grow so I created a logarithmic spiral on my wall. 🙂  Get Jill’s book The Mystic Spiral. It’s a very interesting read with beautiful illustrations.  Here is a documentary she made about the mystic spiral which is really quite religious, which I prefer spiritual, but she is the kind of people I would like to be around.

Since I can’t travel to London to have healing sessions with Jill, (my parents always laughed when I sang, but now I think I can sing because I have listened to Eddie Vedder’s baritone for so long I think I know my range. :D) but I would like to study with her. If even for a day. I feel shy to chant. Even alone. I think listening to myself feels strange. I think that must be a hurdle to overcome for most beginners. Especially for those with mental illness. It has to do with loving yourself and accepting yourself and not labeling yourself and well basically being in the now, which is so hard to do as we are always so traumatized about living in the past or future.

So many so called “normal” people are actually worse at it. So who is really sick here? I think wanting healing is the actually healing.

Her husband Rupert Sheldrake is also a huge inspiration as the work he does and the books he has written for example “The Sense of Being Stared At” and his researched have helped me feel not so crazy. I wrote him once on my psi experiences and it was very difficult to share because if you tell a psychiatrist these things they call you delusional. His research assistant wrote back and thanked me for sharing and acknowledged how hard it must have been to tell my story to strangers. That healed me.

Her son, Cosmo Sheldrake is a joy to watch. He brings a very childlike vibe to music.. Music is very healing for me. I’m almost obsessed with keeping music on at all times that often I forget to be silent. I guess learning to chant would be good for me. He reaches a very deep tone somewhere after 41 minutes that really resonates with me.

I will admit I have a bit of crush.

I just love the whimsical style of his videos. All Cosmo’s videos are very organic. This is a live one.  I dream someday to have my Grandson in on of his workshops.

I love the Sheldrake family. You might say, I have adopted them, they just don’t know it. Maybe now they do. 🙂

A Soul Mate’s Secret Knock

Today was a wonderful day compared to the entry a few days ago while on medication. I felt like I could feel nothing.

“He” was not there.

“God” was not there.

“Creativity” was not there.

and I was out of medical marijuana and without that for depression I am lost to the wind.

I did stop the anti psychotics 24 hours ago. My body swelling has gone down and my mind is sharper. I am however still experiencing blurred vision. I managed to write a rage piece in this blog which for me was really good since writing has bee very hard for me for a long time. I have been censoring some feelings. I feel freer to express those now without shame thanks to a friend.

The story was about being in hospital and it purged the anger of why it happened again to me.  Since I stopped the medication the night before, my mind had ideas, I could think and I found a bit of weed to help it along. It was fueled by sheer outrage that it keeps happening to me.

I will never take dangerous anti psychotics again.

under God’s protection, this I swear for my own health and well being.

but hey God,

dude,

Sir,

Like you gotta help me with this other problem and you know what it is I speak about. This blog is bleeding with it.  How about feeding my heart now. I’ve had enough of darkness ya know? Stuff, where like, I have to keep reliving the same crap and you promise me love and Prince Charming if I do these things then I find him in mysterious was and we can talk in weird ways and you promise and promise but nothing happens. Where do I go from here?

Where do my “boys” come into this tale? This blog is a juxtaposition of two worlds. The reality of dealing with a mental illness and a label and trying to understand Quantum Physics when you are a C student so you can find your soul mate you’ve been looking for for 52 years because you can blame it on Disney movies.

I don’t want to go to bed. I want him in my head.

Is he busy?

Does he not really love me?

He said it was fine to write it all out without guilt, so where do I go from here. Where ever does he go when he goes away? Or do I go away and forget and he is always here and it is just logistics that cause problems like time zones and sleep etc..etc…

He never says he can hear me in writing though? hmmmm? I wonder why. Do you know? I have run my own rational science experiments on this situation in three years and some results have been astounding. I’m not going to broadcast that on Twitter, but still. I like him, but God, what gives. Is this your doing? Like when my ears change and then I think of him and I smile and then my right ear goes off and it starts talking to me in pulses. Sounds crazy to reader it’s normal to me. That’s how it started. We have progressed to a much deeper less primitive communication that often I misread. There is always the fall back to that when I cry or when he interrupts me reading or doing things he is proud of me doing.

I’d call it my

“soul mate’s secret knock“

🙂

I confess in a message to him basically from my heart which was from You and poured my sheer truth out and still although so kind, he never said a word about the other dimension he dwells in with me. So do I dwell there alone? God, am I crazy or just misguided? I think this must be some kind of silly gag I agreed on before I was born. Ha ha.

Am I doing something wrong?

Have I convinced myself of something that is not there?

I just heard him say

(“write: should I write this journal entry in my blog as part of my story and real life happy struggles?”)

I guess it’s fear that it’s not happening and I’m foolish or perhaps I have the wrong man associated with a wonderful feeling. Maybe it’s two taking care of me in two different ways. My body vibrates three different ways at times when I’m feeling good. (just now a pressure change in my ears which he is thinking of me or getting closer)

I don’t know anything really about Quantum Entanglement, I just throw the term around because I dig the way it sounds. But if atoms can entangle why can’t souls before birth? Just wondering.

Have I wished this? what ever “this” is into existence?

Are we spirals affecting the environment?

One might say

“Yes Darling, every single spiraling word…”

I’m not suppose to tell you this, but the gentleman I refer to here is James Callis.

Instant Evolution Through The Overview Effect

The Overview Effect

“The overview effect is a cognitive shift in awareness reported by some astronauts and cosmonauts during spaceflight, often while viewing the Earth from orbit or from the lunar surface.

It refers to the experience of seeing first hand the reality of the Earth in space, which is immediately understood to be a tiny, fragile ball of life, “hanging in the void”, shielded and nourished by a paper-thin atmosphere. Some have even felt a feeling of telepathy while in space. From space, astronauts claim, national boundaries vanish, the conflicts that divide people become less important, and the need to create a planetary society with the united will to protect this “pale blue dot” becomes both obvious and imperative.”

I realize the logistics to this are quite complicated, but I wrote it as if this is something we could do in 24hrs. The ideas are more important than how I could pull this off. Gotta use your imagination.

Greetings People of Earth. Today we are going to change the world. I’ve come up with a stupendous idea.  At this moment, 5 huge new space shuttles wait, ready on the launch pad at NASA. Inside are 200 leaders of the world. We’re going to space and they will be locked in until they can figure it all out.

Our minds, including leaders have got to be opened and more enlightened to cause change.

Five shuttles sit waiting for the busloads of leaders. Each shuttle is decorated differently.

Shuttle One: Traditional Shuttle for NASA Astronauts who will watch over the fleet.

Shuttle Two: A shuttle painted by Peter Max in the theme of the Yellow Submarine

Shuttle Three: A shuttle painted completely black for the leaders who protest the trip.

Shuttle Four: A shuttle painted with The Lorax from the children’s book by Dr. Suess

Shuttle Five: A shuttle tie dyed with a giant peace sign for the spiritual leaders who believe in God and The Grateful Dead.

Everyone will be given a comfy seat, cuddly bathrobe and  pot brownies.

As the shuttles ascend up into space there is a short film showing all the beauty and all the horror in the world. All the war. All the environmental sickness.  All the ways our leaders are not helping because they can’t see we are one. No states, or countries from space we are one. The film will show the suffering of those leaders who ignore it. It will also move them to see what leading from the heart can do.

Angelic music surrounds them as they watch the Earth rise in space. They see it’s tiny fragile blue body holding billions of tiny fragile people. The Earth is a living thing. Space and stars are living things.

As happened to Edgar Mitchell, the astronaut he said he was “overwhelmed with a profound sense of the feeling of oneness.”

The overwhelming beautiful sight of the Earth pervades everyone. Every leader as he ponders his own fragility, is changed. No way they could not. We have to go way high to see us for what we are. A precious miracle in the blackness of space and stars.

Would it not be wonderful if in 100 years, every person born on Earth is required at 12 years old to travel to space and see where we live. Evolution will only continue to grow and peace and heaven on Earth will be reality for eternity.

Oh, what a dream.

And now for something real. A video about the Overview Effect.

Christmas Lights In Ken Nordine’s Ashtray

The night of the previous post, I was lamenting about old hurt and bad dreams. Before I went to bed I smoked a joint in the dark with the only light coming from Christmas lights I keep on all year long. Once that THC hit my brain, I began to settle down. Kinda just stared at the white ashtray and noticed five teeny tiny lights reflecting inside the ashtray. At first I thought, “oh God, here they come again” meaning those beings that are my friends that show up sometimes seasonally. Like their ship takes a year to get back around. Then I just thought, “this is good weed.”

Being a former laser light performer, I notice tiny specks of lights on things. The five multi-colored points of lights in the ashtray looked like a little galaxy. There was a Sun and then a few planets close, I heard a voice that said “That red light is our planet.” I put the joint down at that point since I figured I was already “out there.”

So, reluctantly I headed to bed with an aching brain and thoughts coming at me faster than the speed of light, which is what it’s like to be manic depressive sometimes. So after writing the horribleness I had written that night, I decided to change up my surroundings. I put on streaming surf waves on my computer.  A thought maybe my thoughts would dance with the waves while I slept and I would be somewhere else other than dreams of abandonment and not being heard.

Maybe the white noise generator I have been using lately is the problem with why I can’t astral project or get lucid during dreams.   I had been using it off and on, but I think it blocks my astral thoughts. Now, white noise reminds me too much of “Poltergeist”, “They’re Here!”

I have been sleeping with a fan on all my life. Can’t sleep without it. It’s a small fan that sleeps in the bed space where no one is. I lay facing it and the breeze blowing on my face helps me breath when I can’t. I can say a machine can be your best friend during drug withdrawal, but that’s another story. My panic goes away with Mr. Fanny Fan.  It also vibrates the bed so I kinda feel like I’m in a vehicle of some kind. It’s not loud, so it’s benign. But this night I added the sounds of surf on Songza. I wasn’t that broken to come up with that idea or maybe it was someone else’s.

Dream Recall:
June 20th, 2014

I was on a beach at night. My backyard was fenced in but on the sand. There seemed to be another house in front of our house blocking the waves from hitting us. I have no idea what that means. My mom was there and we were actually getting along.

I looked up and saw this piece of plastic that looked like it had once had a toy in the middle and the child built it, but left the packaging to blow away in the sky. The strange thing was that it was floating down in geometric patterns. I said to my Mom, “there here again.” Almost cynically. She seemed to know what I was talking about and believed me for once. Lord love a duck! What the hell was that about? 🙂

We both ran into the house to hide, but I didn’t really want to hide. This is where it gets kinda sketchy. My Mom went one way and I went another. I tried to go into this room and lock a sliding glass door but it didn’t really want to be locked and I was like..”frak it.” Whatever these beings were, they weren’t from this dimension and I knew that they could get in anyway. Then there was the feeling of two energies in the room. Two men whom I have loved and trusted. I was excited they were there, but they didn’t look, like anything.

I began hiding from a completely different set of beings. These were Earthly ones who didn’t want the others to take me. Even hid from Mom when she tried to find me. I never really saw the beings, more that I felt them think, and could smell their colors. I woke up for a bit and went right back into dream, which I love it when that happens. It hardly ever happens. So I knew it was a lucid clue.

These other dimensional beings were trying to save me. I went to another room and put a chair under the door knob so the human things could not get to me. (As if that ever works in movies!)  Then in my mind they said “you have powers to keep the ones who hurt you out.” Suddenly I was with the multi-colored nothing beings. They had invaded the house and I was happy they were there. Happy in my dream and happy in my sleep. I’m finally having a real good dream and something magnificent had mercy on me after writing down drama.

Then, my evil step-nothing father who I never speak to appeared. He tried running at me really fast to knock me down, but I ran at him instead of away and my body went  right through him and I just threw him aside with a thought. The beings cheered! I ask for the beings that seemed familiar. They came in, but just watched me and my power.

This is where it gets really weird. There was a big celebration of energy in the room and they appeared as humans for a moment. A horse entered the room and wanted to play too. They picked up this huge horse and was spinning it around on it’s back and it was laughing like Mr. Ed. I had to look away because the horse got a huge erection from all the excitement! wtf?

The dreamed morphed and I was suddenly with new people and they all looked at me. I could feel myself start to wake up, and that’s when I started crying in my dream because I knew they were about to leave me in this dimension I’m typing in now, or should I say in my bed in the morning. They looked at me with empathy in a public court and as I cried, one man telepathically said “this is what sadness is” as if they didn’t know it anymore and were amazed by it. They said “we wish we could still feel this sometimes.”

No, I didn’t steal this from BSG, seriously, that’s too conscious, but they said I was some kind of hybrid. They comforted me and said it was going to be ok. Of course, ironically I still woke up crying! Typical but funny. I cried not from a bad dream, but waking up from one and I was aware I was traveling back to a dimension with much more gravity and back pain. While I was waking up I was crying out loud “Come back, come back!” (No reference to the Pearl Jam song of the same name.)

So I got up immediately and had to write this down. I never miss a beat on lucid extraordinary dreams. I chained smoked, which I stopped for ten years in Seattle, and let my pen fly fast but I was really groggy and had to pee from such a long trip.

I ended the journal entry:

“I’m not happy I’m back here in my stupid, stupid living room, in this stupid, stupid dimension smoking a stupid cigarette. This was NOT just a dream, it was as real as my Grandson is and I thank you for visiting me, but please don’t leave me here.

I went to the bathroom. Washed my face and throw myself back onto my bed, hoping to get back there. And as dreams do, someone I never expected appeared. It was Jamie Bamber from Battlestar Galactica. He was going around a corner and I said to him in my mind, “hey look back” he peaked around the corner and came over to me. I was surprised. Like what the hell are you doing here but I  was laughing. I was  standing on a tree root and I looked much taller than him. So he stood on another root and we were the same height. We were laughing for some reason. Then I kissed him on the neck! What the hell. He is a married man and that was NOT Gaius Baltar who I was expecting. ???

This time I woke up laughing. I didn’t write that dream down. One should not  covet someone else’s husband. 🙂 Plus it kinda felt like Ken Nordine has narrated this whole post.

(sound of snapping)

 

 

Merlin’s Dream Diary Key

When the sweet glance of my true love caught my eyes,

Like alchemy, it transformed my copper-like soul.

I searched for Him with a thousand hands,

He stretched out His arms and clutched my feet.

 

From Thief of Sleep

by Shahram Shiva

Deuphoria is 49 now.

Single.

Living alone in a tiny apartment. Her marriage having failed and 50 around the corner is a good reason to see a therapist.

The following is a page out of Deuphoria’s dream journal. Her therapist suggested that she get to the deep parts of her psyche by writing about what she sees while visiting that other dimension called sleep. She was reaching menopause and knew her dreams would increase with intensity. Every morning she had a dream, she woke up and immediately went to her journal without a key to write about it.

She has two kinds of dreams in her life.

Images floating by like clouds, subtle without much power.

Then there were the other kind of dreams. The lucid ones. The ones that felt like a ride at Disneyland. These dreams had much more light and usually lasted all night.

Sometimes she could get up and get a drink of water and come right back to the scene she left off. These are more than dreams, they are spontaneous thoughts coming upon waking all day the next day. Sometimes the dream would linger for days.

In her journal are stories from stories she sometimes sees in the daytime. They leak over into her reality. She so rarely sees the boy’s face that she has looked for since childhood because that quest proved to be a hurtful one and the hide and seek game felt more like mental illness. She forgets sometimes about  the message she received when she was so small from some life form called “something” that told her to never forget. But medications for depression make one forget a great deal indeed.

But one night before bed, she found a BBC program on TV.  She had cried all day from isolation and spinning thoughts. She thought an adult fairy tale of knights would do her good.  It was a film called “Merlin & The Book of Beasts.” There was one particular actor that made her eyes water with that familiar feeling like….

I have seen your face and soul shine somewhere before.

We will leave out this actors name from her own embarrassment. She was hypnotized by this character and this story. Lost in the rain of the mystical dark mossy forest in which he lived. The Merlin in this particular story was no longer happy. He had lost his hope and was aging backwards and was so alone in the forest. A untrustful man who once guided Kings.  No longer believed in the Knights of the Round Table. He had lost his everything. Almost like Dew, bitter from old stories that never came to pass. Bitter from the memories of what once was and how it all can crumble down like the walls of a castle.

She lost herself in the film for a couple of hours and floated away to the kingdoms she longs to be in.  She smoked a joint and ate a pint of Ben & Jerry’s to comfort herself. She felt pulled into this story because of this familiar actor. The ice cream was comforting and cold enough to keep her in reality while getting lost in story.

She felt shameful. She was doing that childhood thing again. Falling for far away people in stories. Thinking and being inspired too much by men she will never know.  She reminded herself this was just some guy on TV again. It was a good film and she went to bed thinking of this man Merlin and somehow the man who played Merlin. She knew the difference between fantasy and reality but she thought “you can’t really fake a feeling can you?”  It’s what actor’s do and inadvertently she becomes attached to a few. This she thought could change her old story she had told herself for twenty years.  She went to bed crying wishing in a way she could have become an actress and get paid to cry for a living.

Dream Recall: March 23, 2013

I feel asleep and a voice came to me and it was Merlin from the film I had just seen. I knew I was dreaming, but could control the dream on some level. I felt lighter and there is always more color there and I ask Merlin I said;

Did you dream me here to this blog?

He said “what’s a blog?”

I don’t know where I am I thought.

I ask Merlin……

Have you lost your magic or your hope?

Do you need my assistance?

How and where have we met?

Do you reincarnate often?

I spoke so fast he could never answer.

The dream smelled like Christmas pines…and that calmed my questions down.

your chest is my home, I said to him. Him knowing how scared I have been in this forest.

I said to him, I’m sure you are aware of that from this dream where your looking at me and your chest is raw from my head resting there. I do apologize that I’m dreaming of you but I can’t help it. It’s so wrong to covet that which is not ours.

Merlin just said…

calm my child. calm.

He lay me down on thick fur covers, gave me a cup of spiced tea and I began to dream within the dream

This is just a dream he said.

You have done nothing wrong.

My body felt lighter from guilt and insanity and unrequited love left for just awhile.

You make me feel like I”m home, I said to him. Why is this just a dream?

It isn’t, he spoke while tucking me into sleep near his fire.

I felt safe.

I felt like I have renewed him.

I felt like I was lovable.

Merlin? I said. He stared at me without speaking but speaking through his third eye, indigo bright it was.

Can I ask you a question before I sleep within this sleep?

, “I saw you in that film and felt sorry for your position in these dark woods, not believing in knighthood or magic anymore.”  Now as I speak to you in this dream I feel I am in that film on in another world but I’m really sleeping in my dead Grandmother’s bed, in a lonely apartment in a lonely city.”

You are everywhere at all times he said.

Parallel worlds are real my child.

I wish you could come with me Merlin when I wake up? Don’t leave me in that other reality. Please I begged and began to cry. He washed my face with a cloth and took something out of my pocket I didn’t know was there. It was half a key to my old dairy as a child. It had my favorite favorite symbol. The spiral.

Why are you keeping my dream journal key? I asked.

So I can bring it back to you when I fix it he said.

This means something I thought to myself in the dream.

Soon I could hear the birds waking me up before Merlin could tell me how he found my dream diary key.  I’m barely awake as I type this.

The fleet foxes came on my internet radio as soon as I started writing this.

Your Protector was the song.

Sometimes supernatural cords keep me tethered to dreams like this one. Sometimes for a few days. Like a deja vu that won’t stop. What it also does is feeds that love I can never ever have.

My Davy Jones syndrome.

The thing my Mother says I have never stopped doing. Falling for unobtainable men from my sleeping lucid dreams.

A burden I bare. The very thing that keeps me from maintaining a real relationship with a man.

Thank you Merlin, for visiting me. Please come back anytime and you can bring that snake. It does not scare me because I know it was just a stick and just a dream.

yours never forever I theorize,

if you need help again, just yell my name, it’s Deuphoria.

Dream Ended.

Later at next therapist appointment D spoke about the dream. She wasn’t sure this therapist was so deeply spiritual and connected to the supernatural as she longed her to be. She wanted a Guru not some therapist from a behavior center. She also longed for a Shaman all her life. She wasn’t going to find one in the mid west she thought.

Instead her therapist yawned as D recalled her dream. D noticed this and basically stop talking. What’s was the point? she thought. This woman was just watching the clock, waiting for her appointment to end. When time was up, the therapist said, “I can get the doctor to get you something for delusional thinking and sleep?”

D was disgusted. Everyone wants to medicate the unknown. She realized this woman was right about the journal but wrong about throwing medicine at it to make it stop. Dew was a writer was she not? Not just a patient. She has dreams. She walked out of that therapist’s office and never went back, hoping beyond hope, God or some energy of the Universe would send her the answers she needed to understand her search for love that had been given as a child and her need to write about it.

InSpiRed bY sPiRals

I watched a program last night where a scientist speculated that aliens would basically come here to consume our resources and that there would be no individuals, it would be more like the “Borg” and that on the evolutionary scale we were closer to ants than to that of violent alien life. He assumes they would just eat us all.

Well that was a man’s view of higher forms of life. What about Captain Kirk? I mean he ran into all kinds of hot bitches in space, green and black ya get me? Why can’t we imagine a race of hot women getting off some interstellar limo.

tiny thinking people.

So maybe some want to eat us, but I doubt it. He said. We would not be able to stop them with anything we know or could build. He said we have nothing to offer them at all.

So what about those spirals in the skies they can’t explain. Do you think sharks would offer us art before they gobble us up? Come one people? If there are “scary” aliens, there also must be sexy ones too!

What about art and story telling. Could we transmit the most beautiful part of humanity through art as our weapon. Make them feel something that had programmed out of themselves. They might at least not eat us and keep us as pets.

Also we can make art with math. It’s called a fractal and it’s basically a spiral, spiraling out of control. So they might think we aren’t so tiny after all.

We would make great pets.

Better start appreciating music and art or your fraked I say.

and now for something completely different…

There is a huge probability wave that a resonance spiral is all around myself.

Sometimes, sadly I feel it’s mine and no one else’s.

My visual creations spiral out of evolutionary control today.