As they pulled into the parking lot of the ranger station, Eddie asked Abbey if she was ready to do this? She hesitated, but then said yes, and thought it was such a perfectly beautiful setting for it too. Abbey felt relief, and release from their drive. The elevation gain up the mountain to Hurricane Ridge was 5,242 feet, nearly a mile up. The views were spectacular, the evergreens taller than five-story buildings. Waterfalls flowed down the mountainside. A Natural Beauty by Neil Young played on the truck’s stereo. I wonder why he played this, thought Abbey. She knew Eddie’s every action was always thoughtful, meaningful, deliberate, and almost mysterious, as if pre-planned.
She remained silent, taking in the passing scenes. Not many men could make her feel quiet. Everything was in sync, as if in a surreal movie. Abbey was also aware the road had no barriers to keep any vehicle from plummeting to the valley below, bringing certain death. She felt how close death could be. Even with him. He was a mortal man. The fact that she was there with him was a lightning bolt of luck. She was glad it was Eddie who drove the twists and turns of the switchback road. ‘How are we going to get down this road later?’ she asked. ‘I’ll drive,’ he said with blue eyes coming out of his mouth. ‘What about our states of mind? You sure you’ll be able to operate heavy machinery?’ Eddie just laughed.
The parking lot was full of tourists, and deer. No one recognized Eddie. However, a few deer did. They approached the truck and peered in. Eddie stared back at the beings staring at him, with nature’s wisdom in their eyes. People took photos as if they had never seen a wild animal. At least they weren’t taking photos of him, she thought. She felt protective of this man though she was unaware he felt the same of her.
It was June, when rare wild flowers appear on the rocky slopes. Abbey was high from the elevation change. She felt hummingbirds in her stomach for what was about to happen. In fact, feeling a bit like Alice, she wasn’t at all sure what was going to happen. He sat silently in the truck enjoying the view. She gazed at his natural face. Eddie was handsome. She watched him watching the deer. Eddie had been reading Timothy Leary’s research on how LSD can treat alcoholism, and other diseases of the mind.
He reached into his pocket and took out two extremely tiny pieces of paper. Each had a minuscule photo of Dr. Leary. ‘Stick out your tongue.’ She shuddered and did as he asked. He placed the paper on her tongue. She looked sternly into his eyes. ‘You’ll watch over me if I freak out?’ ‘I’ve got your back.’ He touched her shoulder. She shuddered again. When that baritone voice spoke, she listened. It vibrated every chakra.
‘Now or never.’
She swallowed Timothy with evergreen waterfalls. He did too, with the confidence of the amazing man she felt he was. Just beyond the parking lot was a partially snow-covered path.
‘Let’s take that path.’
Abbey looked up with terror. The path went uphill! She was out of shape. Not only would she be slow on the way up, she would be ramping up on the drug. She knew the feeling she would get as it kicked in. She was scared.
‘Don’t be scared.’
‘Why did you just say that?’ she asked in disbelief.
‘Just a feeling.’
He moved close to her ear and whispered, ‘I know you better than you think.’
She kept her third eye closed for a moment, afraid he could read her mind. All she could think was she wished he would kiss her, like she was a sleeping beauty.
They walked the path. She kept nervously quiet. They climbed side by side, occasionally looking over at the other, trying not to stare too long. She looked down at her Doc Martens. She recalled how she had purchased them twenty years before, in anticipation of seeing him perform live. In those days, she would mimic him. She was a true follower of his band, a long time fan who often wrote to him about her depression, but never getting a response. She never really expected one. The boots were her anchor to the planet. Indeed, she never fell once while wearing them. Now the soles were worn, like her own soul, and her unrequited love for him.
Suddenly, she slipped on a patch of ice and fell. Eddie immediately sat down next to her.
‘Let me see your boots. Wow, the soles are worn. You don’t have any traction. Mine use to be like that, but I wore them anyway. Even duct taped them together at one point. They grounded me.’
He seems to feel what I say inside, she thought.
Eddie took her hand to help her up. Time slowed down. She felt shock waves go through her as they connected, as if he plugged her into a euphoric outlet in the sky. She felt a little manic. Crazed, but in a good way. The hike was getting difficult. She started to feel sick and prayed to Buddha, God and Krishna that she would not vomit in front of him.
Her palms started sweating from the heat coming from his hand. She never thought she would touch him. Synchronicity was in the wind. She could see it. Maybe it was the paper kicking in. He squeezed her hand and spoke.
‘Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. The climb up the mountain will help you ease out of this state.’
The next half hour was hell for Abbey. They had to stop often and sit down because she felt dizzy, jittery and sleepy. She could see flecks of light in mist that looked like fairies and she felt a sort of humility in nature. When she couldn’t catch her breath, the fairies did it for her.
A young couple coming down the path stopped.
‘If you’re headed to the ridge, it’s glorious today, once you get past this mist,’ said the man.
The young woman’s cheeks turned quite pink. Abbey knew she had recognized Eddie. They went on by, as Eddie and Abbey walked further into the sky. They both looked back to see the couple fade away. Those people just faded away, Abbey thought. A moment passed and Eddie spoke deeply.
‘Funny how we meet people and know what they’re thinking? Then it fades away.’
‘What do you mean?’ she asked.
‘Don’t think I’m crazy, but do you ever feel like your an empath? A person who can pick up on the emotions of another?’
‘All the time,’ she said.
She wondered if LSD could bring out his connection to her that she had always suspected. As they climbed, she saw neon purple wildflowers everywhere. Abbey decorated her mind with flowers in case he could see inside her.Eddie broke the silence and asked a question. ‘Have you ever seen the movie Harold and Maude?’
‘Oh yes!’ Abbey said with glee.
‘Do you know what my favorite scene is?’ he quizzed her.
‘I don’t know you that well, but my favorite is the flower scene.’
‘Exactly,’ he said.
Her mind started spinning. Eddie looked like Merlin, in a deep forest. That’s when she knew the acid had kicked in. He squeezed her hand. She squeezed back. Her second chakra was spinning orange. She felt it leak out of every opening of her body. When they reached the top, she thought her heart would explode. Emotional natural landscapes were everywhere.
He let go of her hand. Was her energy too much?
‘Can you feel the energy up here?’ he said out loud.
There he goes again! she thought, he seems to feel the words I think. What is going on? She saw a halo above his head, with the colors in a low frequency wave slowly turning from purple to mossy green. Her skin tingled with magic.
At the bottom of the hill, the young couple they had met were talking to a group of people. They seemed to be talking about something and pointing up. Several people left the group and headed uphill.
When the people arrived at the top, what they saw was strange. There were Abbey and Eddie straddling a log, facing each other. The couple had formed a pyramid as their foreheads touched. They were perfectly silent. Suddenly from behind an evergreen, two deer appeared. The strangers watched for a moment. Abbey’s meditation was broken when she heard someone speak in a hushed tone.
‘Let’s leave them alone.’
From inside Eddie’s head, a beam of indigo light shot directly into Abbey’s forehead.
‘Can you feel it?’ she heard him say in her mind.
‘Yes, I can,’ She thought back to him.
Inside her head, she heard him singing a siren song. A lotus flower blossomed from their crowns as yellow banana slugs sang them a sweet slug song. The tune sounded like it was coming from gigantic speakers inside a radio in the sky, with trumpeting angels as commercials. They meditated for a long time.
Abbey heard a snap behind her.
‘Look,’ Eddie hushed.
They both turned around to see a deer standing behind each of them. Then he whispered in her ear.
‘The Buddha meditated with deer.’
She wanted to kiss him like she wanted to breathe, but then again he felt like the Buddha to her at that moment and well, it might be quite improper to kiss the Dalai Lama.
They stared at each other for a long time and then a release came over her. She started shaking. As if in slow motion, his right arm collected her around the waist, and pulled her into his coat. She was freezing and he knew it. They embraced, and it was then that the tears came.
‘Why am I here?’ she cried.
He sang a lyric from one of his songs.
And the days they linger on. Every night I’m waiting for the real possibility that I may meet you in my dreams. Sometimes you’re there and you’re talking back to me. Come the morning I could swear you’re next to me. And it’s ok. It’s ok.*
Then he stopped.
Abbey thought to herself, oh dear God, here it comes. She prayed hard to every higher power she could think of. Please let him say it, she thought.
‘Does this song stir you? This is actually you singing. Abbey, do you have dreams of me?’
‘Yes, I do.’
He went on to explain that, years and years ago, he was at a bar and got into a fight with someone. He was drunk, and the other guy was out of line. Eddie was knocked out. When he awoke, he saw an angel in the corner of the room and she had Abbey’s face.
‘Ever since then, I have seen that same face many times, but had no idea who it was, until I spotted you in the front row at a concert one night. I found out who you were, and it has taken me several years to figure out how to meet you. That contest you won to be here was a set-up. You were going to be the winner all along.’
‘This isn’t happening, we are just on LSD, and you are making this up,’ she cried to him.
‘How can I be making this up? You’re here now, aren’t you? Tell me what you saw in your dream, Abbey?’
‘I was floating in the corner of some room. It seemed like a bar. I saw you there. It was 1993. I wanted to help you. I watched as the man beat you up. I wanted to come down and save you. After that, you began to visit me in the night. For years, dreams of you made it seem as if I had left my body. It felt like I was really with you. Those dreams tortured me. You must know this from all the letters I sent you, and that you never answered.’
‘You have been the subject of many of my songs,’ he said, ‘I’m sorry I never told you before. I was worried I was putting you in those mental hospitals by stealing your dreams and letters. I’m so sorry. You know I’m married now. I didn’t want to lead you on.’
Abbey passed out. She woke up with his lips on hers.
‘Why are you kissing me?’ She was startled.
‘Mouth-to-mouth. You fainted. Do you remember what I had just told you?’
Abbey was weak, but said, ‘I’m not sure I know what’s going on. This trip is strong. I feel scared this isn’t happening and it’s just another dream, and I’m going to wake up any minute and get sick because none of this is real.’
Eddie tried to distract her.
‘Look at the deer, my dear, they are still here.’
One deer came to them. He took her hand and brushed it against the deer’s thick fur. As she did, the warm deer leaned up against it, and she realized she was petting a wild animal. The tears of fear turned to tiny rivers of pink joy on her face.
She was one with all creation. He validated her at last. What her heart knew was right. They had a dream connection. When she was least expecting it, his lips were upon her forehead.
‘I’m sorry I kissed your mouth, I was a bit scared you were having a heart attack.’
She knew that he knew his mouth on hers would be like the prince kissing a sleeping beauty.
‘Keep laying down. You need to just breathe for a while. Let’s look at the clouds.’
He lay down next to her, and they watched puffy, fluffy, powdered-sugar dolphins and zebras, and crooked hearts floating by. She smiled and began to feel confident enough to speak. She wondered if he saw them.
‘See those three crooked hearts?’ He pointed to the clouds she was gazing at.
It was inconceivable, yet it proved what she had known for so long about the two of them. The day had come.
‘If I’m your muse, then you owe me money,’ she said with a smirk.
They both laughed, and she pondered how they were doing this.
‘Doing what?’ he laughed.
She smiled. Some moments don’t need words.
‘I don’t think we are from Earth,’ he said.
It was exactly what she was thinking.
He offered his hand to help her up. She felt like Guinevere as she let him take it. They headed downhill. She felt grounded, so maybe the trip was finally wearing off. Then she started to feel depressed. She was losing the moment. There he was, holding her hand, coming clean on why she was there, and all she could think was that most of what just happened was drug-induced, the day was going to be over, and soon they would part ways. It made her want to cry.
‘This isn’t the end,’ he said, ‘I still have a surprise for you.’
On the way down they laughed and enjoyed every flower they saw, taking in the rare varieties and thanking the Universe for such a glorious day. He still held her hand tightly, as descending was almost harder than going up. The same group of people had remained gathered at the bottom of the path.
A young man said happily, ‘Hey man, I can’t believe it’s you! We all love your music. In fact you have changed all of our lives.’
Eddie smiled shyly and said, ‘I’m just a guy, but I’m glad you like what I do. That is why I do it. If what I write makes a positive difference in your lives, then I’m a happy man.’
They said their goodbyes and headed back to the truck. Abbey was in a daze from the exercise, and the validation and the magic she had felt with him that day.
Timothy Leary was right, she thought. Eddie must know about the therapeutic benefits of psychedelics. The gift of the experience, whether she imagined it or not, was all she needed. She felt healed. Krishna must have heard her prayers and told God, and then God phoned Allah, and Allah texted Buddha who sent out the message to the cosmos on a typewriter from another dimension.
The deer followed them back to the truck. Eddie opened her door and Abbey got in. Eddie was silent for a long time.
‘I have to admit something else to you. That piece of paper had no acid on it.’
‘What are you saying?’
‘Well, basically I made that paper. You didn’t take acid. And may I add, I heard everything you didn’t say.’
She threw her arms around him. While they embraced, the deer ate in flowered fields, and the world was as it should be for both of them.
Eddie started the truck and they began the descent down the twisting, turning mountain road. This time she was not worried about his state of mind. Abbey thought if she died right now, if they tried to avoid a deer and drove off the road leaving this mountain, it would be a good death.
‘Exactly,’ he said, and took one hand off the wheel to hold hers.
* Come Back by Pearl Jam
It is very very difficult to write about an extraordinary spiritual experience in your life that can’t really be explain by grouping letters.
Science Goes On - A Blind Date With God 
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