When A Fetus Grows In A Mystic Spiral Symphony

“If we don’t sustain this tuning, if we don’t make the right sounds, the world will fall apart.”

Using sound as a form of healing has been around for thousands of years. In my own battle with depression I have gone to medication again and again with disastrous results. Due to geography, I am not able to access the healers I require. Jill Purce is one of those healers. I find people like Jill through synchronicity and ran upon this video of her about a year ago.

You know when you watch someone and what they say makes you have goosebumps because they resonate that which your soul needs. During the video on about chanting, I thought I noticed she was possibly pregnant and the whole time I found it hard to be present (something) she talks about, because I kept wondering, what would be the effects of chanting while developing in the womb. It must be, well, heaven. Her children must be so lucky to have her as a Mother. Plus she named them Merlin and Cosmo. How cool is that?

So watch the video and I will continue with my thoughts. 🙂

When it comes to my depression, as she speaks about the elderly patients with dementia, I knew that feeling because I have seen it in psych wards where we are all drugged up and no one feels anything. I think back on my last hospitalization knowing I should not have been in there, knowing I was so drugged that I could not cry to think about how lovely it would have been to have seen a Jill Purce come into the ward for therapy. Alternative therapy is what we need for healing. All kinds of healing. Not just mental health. Mental health seems to be especially perfect for chanting in my humble opinion because it does put us in the now.

Many people like myself living with PTSD, which I don’t like to label myself that, but I do so others can identify, many of us can be triggered by a word. Like she said in the video, “mountain” can represent a bad memory of yesterday when we missed an appointment with someone on a hill. For me sadly, a band I loved, that got me through a bad mental health time is associated with that now. I hope someday that heals, ironically that does not mean I give up on music. More on that below.

Back to development in the womb. I think the state of mind our Mothers were in during our beginnings is crucial to who we are now. I don’t know if it’s fixed forever, but certainly it makes up our beginnings. I think I read in India, pregnant women are kept away from frightening things because they don’t want the Mother upset as to upset the fetus. That sounds wonderful to me. During the video I felt as though Jill may have been pregnant. I know both of her sons are musical, but one in particular is doing almost the same work as his Mother.

She speaks about sound at the cellular level. I wish I knew what a fetus’ cells looked like from a Mother who lived in war zones as opposed to Mother’s living in Kauai on the beach surfing everyday. Maybe science could show this to politicians and that would stop war?

I know the work on water and Dr. Emasaru Emoto’s work on The Hidden Message in Water and how thought’s can affect water is along the same lines in science. Sound and thoughts affect us, those around us, our subtle bodies and the world. We are all connected.

On another subject, (you never know which way I will be flowing)

The spiral.

I have been drawing Archimedean spirals since I was a child. Of course I didn’t know what it was until I found about the spiral being an ancient symbol. I just thought it was an ancient

Petroglyph

on cave walls and I liked southwest design. I made a video on the spiral. It’s pretty simple but you can watch or not watch whatever.. I made it before I got Jill’s book.

My headboard has an archimedean spiral on it, but I thought I should be more evolved and I needed more room to grow so I created a logarithmic spiral on my wall. 🙂  Get Jill’s book The Mystic Spiral. It’s a very interesting read with beautiful illustrations.  Here is a documentary she made about the mystic spiral which is really quite religious, which I prefer spiritual, but she is the kind of people I would like to be around.

Since I can’t travel to London to have healing sessions with Jill, (my parents always laughed when I sang, but now I think I can sing because I have listened to Eddie Vedder’s baritone for so long I think I know my range. :D) but I would like to study with her. If even for a day. I feel shy to chant. Even alone. I think listening to myself feels strange. I think that must be a hurdle to overcome for most beginners. Especially for those with mental illness. It has to do with loving yourself and accepting yourself and not labeling yourself and well basically being in the now, which is so hard to do as we are always so traumatized about living in the past or future.

So many so called “normal” people are actually worse at it. So who is really sick here? I think wanting healing is the actually healing.

Her husband Rupert Sheldrake is also a huge inspiration as the work he does and the books he has written for example “The Sense of Being Stared At” and his researched have helped me feel not so crazy. I wrote him once on my psi experiences and it was very difficult to share because if you tell a psychiatrist these things they call you delusional. His research assistant wrote back and thanked me for sharing and acknowledged how hard it must have been to tell my story to strangers. That healed me.

Her son, Cosmo Sheldrake is a joy to watch. He brings a very childlike vibe to music.. Music is very healing for me. I’m almost obsessed with keeping music on at all times that often I forget to be silent. I guess learning to chant would be good for me. He reaches a very deep tone somewhere after 41 minutes that really resonates with me.

I will admit I have a bit of crush.

I just love the whimsical style of his videos. All Cosmo’s videos are very organic. This is a live one.  I dream someday to have my Grandson in on of his workshops.

I love the Sheldrake family. You might say, I have adopted them, they just don’t know it. Maybe now they do. 🙂

Writing With Someone’s Pen

Found this in a journal from January of 2012. I have been journaling for years. Since 93 in fact. The habit started off to record unusual and later prophetic dreams, later it became what it should have been, a place to not tell my secrets to anyone. Before the internet, that is the only place of confession.

Over the years I have observed my handwriting. You can tell my happy days or a happy dream recall. The penmanship was quite lovely and bright. Then there was the psychotic days, years later when I was cheated on and caught a man’s numerous lies or the scariest when I was withdrawaling from anti-psychotics and had no idea my brain was reconnecting but this time, strange things came out but not as strange as the sun. The writing looked like scribbled screaming. There was also a huge period of time when I wrote nothing, maybe something like nothing.

But one day I started having the pen move for me.  It would write for me and I would just go alone with it. And it was not my handwriting.

God my mind is dead. I have nothing to say. I didn’t say anything in these journals for years while lobotomized by medications and doctors. As my brain began to unshrink, the little synchronitices and other supernormal thoughts started to come out. That’s when I started automatic writing I guess. From what source it came, I did not know. I often just thought I was full of madness as I had been told, but what now I think was happening was I was getting in touch with another dimension. A place where something or someone spoke to me. I let my pen do as it pleased, for it was not my pen at that point. I could tell because the writing was so weird. Small. I mean tiny writing. I never write this way. I’m a loudmouth and my hand usually gives me away. This was channeled to me.

I have not edited it, nor does punctuation need to waste your time when words are flowing into your mind and hand. I still don’t know what it means, but the saddest part is sometimes it just goes away. Do I block it because I’m frightened and I’m trying to stay sane. Does it abandon me as per usual. I can blow my mind, but I would rather have my ind blown than to write about what I ate for dinner that day, which was probably something supplied by a food bank, for which I was grateful.

and so it went like this……and didn’t look this neat in Times New Roman. I would have called the font, “thought control.”

March, 2006 –

For open and still I have got. I’m pure Rumi spirit and romantic haze, you have shown me love in the past I whisper to you now I figured out the play and epic tale of lovers playing

For what have gloriously arrived without fee a stillness and knowing that he is here. For what way he came I can be sure. Its the key to life and all around a tiny shy voice is finally found. My own true love, entered on wheels the cosmic dance is all I feel A loving detachment of casting my net for I was a fisherman no more I was the catch to enter my loves door In his silence that night our spoken words took flight, and left only light. My head Lord you overwhelm my heart and dressed me in green because an angel I’ve seen

There in that ether he did not say…..

Deborah it’s the boy who dared to steal a kiss from me thinking around affecting gravity. While out this thought became clear, a tiny bell in my head did hear. What’s that? His dreams are dressing me here to a hallowed out tree, new you are I’m near awakened one I did hear.

The many seconds in time his message to me was love is kind. He planted the evergreen in my mind Glory to God. I think I got what I prayed for this time but I’m not sure what it is. Not since he has taken away my innocence Turned over time…..and space……….
A great fine wine no more hiding you we swear in each other’s company is there a star so massive with immense circumference it seemed like the tiniest chance.

Look! Look! There in his glance! Did you see it?

The silence is telling me now above and below it’s all the same space with you…there is no pain, but my sunshine has now gone.

I have no fraking idea what I just said.

InSpiRed bY sPiRals

I watched a program last night where a scientist speculated that aliens would basically come here to consume our resources and that there would be no individuals, it would be more like the “Borg” and that on the evolutionary scale we were closer to ants than to that of violent alien life. He assumes they would just eat us all.

Well that was a man’s view of higher forms of life. What about Captain Kirk? I mean he ran into all kinds of hot bitches in space, green and black ya get me? Why can’t we imagine a race of hot women getting off some interstellar limo.

tiny thinking people.

So maybe some want to eat us, but I doubt it. He said. We would not be able to stop them with anything we know or could build. He said we have nothing to offer them at all.

So what about those spirals in the skies they can’t explain. Do you think sharks would offer us art before they gobble us up? Come one people? If there are “scary” aliens, there also must be sexy ones too!

What about art and story telling. Could we transmit the most beautiful part of humanity through art as our weapon. Make them feel something that had programmed out of themselves. They might at least not eat us and keep us as pets.

Also we can make art with math. It’s called a fractal and it’s basically a spiral, spiraling out of control. So they might think we aren’t so tiny after all.

We would make great pets.

Better start appreciating music and art or your fraked I say.

and now for something completely different…

There is a huge probability wave that a resonance spiral is all around myself.

Sometimes, sadly I feel it’s mine and no one else’s.

My visual creations spiral out of evolutionary control today.